A NOTE FROM THE FOUNDER…

I am eight years old and sitting at the top of a tree that overlooks my house. I know that what is happening in my house is wrong. They are all older than me and I don't know why they don't know it’s wrong, too. I ache because I have no one to talk to. There is no one that I feel safe enough with to share my feelings of sadness, confusion and shame. They are grown-ups and I am a child.  Who will believe me?

It is in this moment that something changed inside of me.  My tears and fear transform into clarity and resolve.  My eight-year old self knew that no one should feel like I do. No one should feel alone. I knew what pain and isolation felt like, and I began to try to understand what would make me feel better. What would make me feel understood and safe again? As I grew and worked through these personal experiences, I began to put a name on the conviction that took root on that warm summer day sitting atop my backyard tree. It is now my life's purpose: to use my own journey, coupled with professional education, to help others as a counselor.  

I have had many critical incidents and influences in my life that have brought me to my decision to become a therapist; starting from the very beginning. I was born into an Irish Roman Catholic family in a small town in New York. Six boys were born before me; I was the seventh child and the only girl. I was not encouraged to have dreams or goals. I was just supposed to be pretty, which I failed at. Both sets of my Grandparents died before I knew them. All died from alcoholism. Aunts, Uncles, and cousins came in and out of my life. Again, people suffering from the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction. With all of the alcoholism in my family, came abuse and neglect.

Then came Muriel. She is the person that saved my life and would be a mother to me. She cared for me, loved me, and was the strong and good force in my life.  She always held my hand proudly and tightly. She had tremendous grace and poise. She taught me that I was to hold my head up high no matter what was going on around me; which, at times, felt almost impossible for me because I spent much of my early life with my head down, always feeling less than and ashamed of myself but I had no idea why.

After my freshman year of high school, life at home became more violent. So, at the age of thirteen I asked my mother if I should leave and she said yes.  Looking back on that critical moment in my life, I felt conflicted. I felt shattered that my mother wanted me to leave home, but I also knew that if I ever had a daughter she would never know what it felt like to have a mother that would discard her. I stayed with a family that I had been working with and in the fall, by the grace of God, went to a school where I lived with the Sisters of The Sacred Heart. I started at Sacred Heart with two suitcases that held all of my belongings. Muriel and Sacred Heart showed me I could do anything. They instilled in me a drive to do service and help others with less. Many great teachers and counselors along the way showed me I deserved a life filled with love and goodness.

I came to Washington D.C. and attended the American University where I graduated in 1987 with a BA in Visual Media Communications and began to work in television in D.C. I was always haunted with the thought that I was not good enough, talented in any way, or deserving of opportunity.  My childhood feelings of unworthiness never left me.  I can look back and see how I sabotaged myself so that I would not succeed. I often felt like I was drowning.

I failed so many times in relationships and in my career, but the resilience that I found when I was that eight-year-old girl helped me get up and keep me going. Over the next twenty years, I was blessed to have great people and therapists in my life who helped me believe there was good in me. And because of all that was given to me, I realized I could go back to school and become what I had always wanted to be, a therapist.

My husband and children brought me to the next step and return to school for my Master’s Degree. I was flooded with messages of insignificance, lack of intelligence, and worthiness that I was taught early in life. I was not a good student, didn’t really know how to use a computer, and couldn’t write a paper. I was accepted at The Johns Hopkins University. My daughter taught me how to write a paper, my son corrected my homework, and my husband patiently showed me how to use a computer. I tried to quite every day, but my children said, “Oh I know mom, it’s hard but you told us we can’t quite because something is hard”. I ended up graduating at the top of my class with a degree in Professional Mental Health Counseling and a member of The International Honor Society for Counseling.

I get up every day and work to help people find their resilience and show them they are strong, worthy, and valuable.